exstensivly confused

I am well and truely stuck here =p, right so theres this girl at school right...and i like her...shes funny, gorgeous, blunt its all brill but my Bestfriend(who has a gf) is always going on about how he has thoughts about her. now me and her have gotten kinda close but shes a boarder and itll be a hard relationship but i think shes worth it....but ill just be in constant fear of her and my bessie getting together before that point...and its all kinda screwed up cause id rather her and him where happy but then shes amazing and blargh all variations of what i just said.... its crazy man crazy.....and im ill which sucks to. =p

Well Well

well....since my last post...its been downward trend. Amber broke up with me, so yeah that sucked...never got the chance to tell her how much i liked her...was on the verge of telling her i loved her if im honest, but lifes a bitch like that....i could rant on all night about it but it was a week ago and i really probably should start getting over it....but hey a year and a half relationship....im allowed a short period of....sorrow about the end of it arnt i. Fuck it ima rant...the worst feeling of the whole thing is that i know she'll be over me before im over her....Bertie says its her lose....but thats not how i see it....after this her life can only really go up....u know no me so she can do whatever the hell she wants....whereas im just gonna brood over it for awhile....drown my sorrows at some point....rant to the nearest random equally drunk person....and then brood some more cause i can....its just really really crap...really crap....i wonder if she knows how crap i find it...probably not but oh well thats life right. Goodnight all, sweet dreams

I am

Right its been a loooong loong time since me last update and lots has happened since then that i can really be bothered to write about bar one thing, i am still with amber, and its ridiculous how happy that makes me but the strange thing is i'm afraid to tell her how happy it makes me..... what's up with that right.....i mean being with her is like well its just fantastically awesome im not saying that like she's my one and only cause come on im me and im 16 but right now at this very moment shes just.... the girl for me....i literally cant think of anyone i'd rather be with at this moment in time....i mean shes not perfect and saying that sounds dooshy but like if i thought she was perfect it be weird.....even when she complains like right now shes complaining about how crap england is and all i can do is smile cause im just happy to be with her and im scared that ill lose her at any moment.....fucked up thoughts man fucked up thoughts. but hey thats life right =p peace out

Urges

Urges
1-Go to Italy
2-Go to america
3-go back to italy and go to a venetian festival
4-make a massive batch of pancakes that towers over me
5-make a load of really depressing music videos
6-Take a picture of myself with a large stack of money
7-take that picture to everyone who ever doubted me and
show them it while victory dancing
8-dye my hair again
9-fuck it and shave my hair off
10-fake my own death so i can rise from the grave and pretend
to be a zombie.
Thats it for now will put more on later.....why do i blog =p no one reads any of it i mean iv got like 2 followers eh fuck it i like the venting

Friggin Life

Wow do i get myself into some situations...thats all iv really got to say on that cause i dont want to go into a detail, but iv decided that this summer is going to be my summer of Re-invention, this summer is how im going to clean my slate, everything and anything iv said this year isnt going to apply to next year....obviously within reason if iv said your my friend you'll remain my friend but like alot is not going to apply cause i really want to have a year with no previous commitments.

Im regretting the deaths of others alot lately....mainly brett...i feel cheated for not getting to actually know him for that long.

OK massive shout out to Amy Jones, cause i feel like im losing her, i havent actually talked to her in forever and its kinda heart breaking but "fuck it", amy you are the best friend iv had since iv been here and you leaving is like a knife to the gut cause i know how easily people drift apart and it makes me want to cry cause i know that the chances are we will but when we do know that i hold no grudge cause of everyone iv ever met you;ve been the only one iv felt like i could tell anything to and that i could confide in and thats how i'll always remember you. Incase we dont get to have an actuall conversation before summer good luck with everything you do and know that i love you and you;ll always be a cherished friend.

Friggin life hey =(

Sleeping

Its weird thinking people i can imagine talking to right now are asleep.

I want to be as comfortable as this panda =(

Late night Rambles

Another late night here, seems my little sleeping problems returned. sucks i love sleep, sleeps brilliant, nothing beats sleep excepts sinful green snake sleep but its still sleep....so whats my burning issue this time, well my conversations with my best friend now very rarely stretch past "hello"....which kinda sucks.....we're drifting apart.....could be for the best really....she is leaving and all so easier on both of us ha although her leaving affects me alot more than it affects her don't think she even realizes how big a shot her leaving is...it really sucks. oh yeah sudden realization of how sucky death is and how it hits the people who least deserve it, not that any one deserves it. I guess iv just never really come to grips with my cousins death...even though it was so long ago he just meant alot to me, if ever i had a father figure in life it was him....This was brought about by the fact that i found out one of my friends.....well i met her while i was visiting my cousins but i still count her as a friend even though she pobably doesnt remember me but yeah her Boyfriend died in a car accident last year and Brett also died in a car crash....its all just really crap really but yeah im just ranting about shit thats not mine to rant about sooooo whatever. Todays person of th day is Abi Ridley she gets it for being my new friend and stay up to ridonkadonk hours
Goodnight peeps, sweet dreams...ill still be awake =p

POOWEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

Well well well has it been ages or what. so much has happened in so little time.....well actually no alots happened in alot of time. lets see am out of boarding and at home now.....we know the little ordeal awhile ago with the green snake of envy....and you know what its turned out for the best, lifes been good at home, out on the weekends, better food, more freedom and green snake of envy still solidified in my life....if some what more responsably which is good......OH! iv got crewage lol i have a crew....these boys have proven to be my true friends this year even though we've only reallyspent alot of time together recently but its been great we all get along never any conflict and we all respect the green snake, regular weekend sessions its brilliant....its strange how i feel closer to them in this short time than iv ever felt to the likes of charlie and james...oh and amy ahhh amy how i love her never had such an awsome friend....she's leaving!!! wtf wtf wtf what am i going to do with my life =p what else....ah have embraced dudeism best decision of my life the morales and codes its taught me i have put to use every day so far. What else what else ahhhh exams....they are pure mission absolute pure mission had two today math and business....w...t...f actually could my day have been more of a mission with those two exams. well thats it for now
Todays person of the day is Jack Walton for being such a dedicated and loyal bro, love you man

Full circle

Today was the first time in awhile i managed to go full circle in my emotions. i started off today happy as a clam, school was great, got alot done, saw my friends and all this was brilliant. i was pretty much fine up till about 5, at this point i plummeted, i got tired and i started over thinking, i cam to full realisation of how dull life is going to be after this term, ill be living at home against my will, im being forced to leave the one place i love and that truely feels like home. this in short is not good for me, its not even that bad an event and yet it has brought me to new depths of depression. I will still be able to see my friends but my social life is as good as dead, my parents have no trust in me and its going to be really awkward. Yet on the bright side i am struck by random flashes of happiness this is good as it keeps me going, so as long as i dont think any further than the end of this week ill stay happy, but thats not possible as i have a brain that over thinks everything. i hate being like this, id much prefer to be happy all the time, but i cant cause things like this keep happening at the worst of times, i sound melodramatic but i assure you im not trying to be. till next time, goodbye

Fraggleraggledaggle

These past few days have been the worst of my life, some ass grassed alot of people in for a certain "activity" and one of them was me this has resulted in me being thrown out the Bhouse....people dont get how shit that is for me....my depression is back and all i want in the world is to die....i wish i was dead cause life would be easier cause i wouldnt have to live it. parents dont trust me, im leaving 95 friends in one day, i dont know what to do about my gf cause i will probably not see her for the next 5 months....i was planning to break up with her for summer not cause theres something wrong with the relationship but just cause 9 months would be to long a relationship but what do i do now.....every plan iv made for the next 3 years is gone out the fucking window cause of all this shit....other than all this friends are still amazing and keeping me alive....this whole fucked up mess luckily wont affect my chances of getting into 6 form and i may be able to get back in next year but still this is bullshit so much stress for such a pathetic thing the worst is that i stopped almost a month ago and now cause some moron thought "oh hey ill brown nose to the fucking headmaster" everything in life is fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked...is this all really worth the stress...is it...i had trust issues before and now they are even worse. life is shit and that is it. goodbye untill the next post.....once again life is shit...oh ya trivium gig in manchester was awsoooome, rise to remain where mental, white chapel blew the roof off, chimera drove the crowd to riot points of violence and excitment and trivium finished everything off like a sweet circle pit on the top. i was bruised and battered and i loved every second of it.

Happiness half price

Today i was happy, for once i was well and truly happy all day. it was awesome i was buzzing....i was off my tits with happiness i mean if i had been wearing a poncho or a sombrero i would of just blacked out from happiness....cool way to go "he ODed on happiness" best gravestone mural ever lol wat else happened today....hmmm had a good chill with B, Chazz, Duckie, Amz and the lot, the weather was brilliant, warm and sunny.....THATS IT!!! i was photosynthasising happines im like a plant except instead of oxygen i produce happiness, i know im ranting about being happy but a good happy streak is a big thing for me which sounds sad but who cares cause i was HAPPY. woop woop. hmm lessons were a doss i just talked to bessies mostly. math was the usuall chat the the Thedum. OMG talking of that funny man TRIVIUM IN 3 DAYS, gonna be awwweesome, mosh pit to fuck man lol. Hmmm got back to boarding did the usuall tea rutine, need a tea when i get back, went to my room played some xbox chatted to andrew and bert and sam yadda yadda yadda, now im in prep and just writing this, soo all in all its been a good day. Oh there is alot of relevance in the picture, its the last time i remember being well and truelly utterly totally happy. it was durring summer 2 years ago, i was in SA with my sole brothers (from left to right) Ben, Terraz, Juan, Bracken, moi, David. i wll hopefully be seeing them soon, i miss them so much. They are todays people of the day all of them collectivly cause i love them all equally. till i write agian, have fun.

Apples and Lemons

Was bored s thought id write a list of good and bad things that have happened in life...obviously only wt i can remember.

1. Good=Was Born
2. Bad=Was Born
3. Good=Was born into an awsome family
4. Good=4th birthday(first thing i remember remembering)
5. Good= started going to pre primary school
6. Bad=My cousine who was my father figure in life died in a car crash
7. Good= Met the guys who would prove to be my brothers for life
8. Bad=Left south Africa and away from my friends
9. Good=Left south Africa and its corrupt government and Crime rates
10. Good=Got into a good school in Saudie
11. Good=Made friends quickly
12. Bad=None of them bother to talk to me now that i'v left
13. Good=Met the girl of my dreams in saudi
14. Bad=Turned out she'd only end up breaking that dream and my heart
15. Bad=Developed a weird case of depression which fucked alot up
16. Bad=ended up loving that girl in 12 & 13 for 8 years almost
17. Good=Met a group of older friends who showed me the best 3 years of my life in saudi
18. Good=Thet still talk to me =)
19. Bad=Left saudi and all those friends(this is when i was 14)
20. Good=Left saudi and into a country where i could actually have a future
21. Good=Made an amazing group of friends who i love
22. Bad=Had my heart broken by my 2nd Gf
23. Good=Discovered the people who truely understand me
24. Good=Found someone who i can talk to for 4 hours straight and not notice
25. Good=Found someone i can tell anything to
26. Bad=Got overly stressed with work and ended up depressed and in a rut again
27. Bad=Dealt with depression in a really bad way
28. Good=Lifted my spirits greatly by getting it all done
29. Good=Met my sole sister(P.G) and found that we share a common habit.
30. Good=Amazing friends has led to an amazing social life
31. Bad=Moving into a Bhouse meant i ended up seeing alot of really good friends walk out my life
32. Good=Met my other sole brother at the Bhouse and hes stayed with me
33. Good=Started a blog on my poetry
34. Good=Started this blog
35. Best= AMY B JONES!!!!
    

There we go thats what i remember so far ill write more another time.

Monday all day blues

Today....today has had the underlying tone of awfullness. dont get me wrong i loved seeing my friends....its just that every cell in my body was screaming to get out, i wanted to be away from it all....to be somewhere i could just lay down and drift away. *sigh* but thats no ones fault, just my stupid emotions which i cant seem to control. c'est la vie i geuss. what else well i geuss i lived through school....got back dying for a smoke, shitty mood continued till now. now im writting this and my mood doesnt seem to be improving....ahh but no worries bad moods go as easily as they come i just need something to tip the scales.
Person of the day today hmmmm lets see....its Charlie Rees for although i was in a shit mood he managed to raise my spirtits just that little bit that i needed.

Sinfull green snakes and Bright sunny days

The weekend well well well, i didnt have time to write about it during it which is a shame for it was full of amazment and glory but yet so seeped in sorrow. started off with a trip to kendal to find the sinfull green snake. came back and just chilled, life was hectic inside the Bhouse so seeing as it was a goodnight, not to overly cold, i went and found P and we were lost in the world of the green snake(this is a running theme throughout btw) saturday was much of the same but starting from a much earlier time. Saturday however was a sad day for it was P's last so the traditional celebrations where in order. Sunday was started with a visit from my gf but sadly she had to go to blackpool and P was gone.....all the women in my life left me in a single day was pretty screwed by that...but an old friend came along and made things better, we sat outside in the sun, listining to music wrapped in the green snake of envys grasp..alll day lol Weather awsome, company awsome, mood was good so all in all it was a good weekend, only massive bump being the leaving of P which sucked ass.

Todays person of the day is....Amy B Jones, for helping me through life in general, id be alot worse off without her help.

Friday!!!!!

Friday at last. But the question is....how was friday. my friday started out crap, really crap so crap i couldnt be bothered with breakfast(remember this its causes alot of strees throuhout) then the bus was late loop now im gonna be to late to buy toast( the blot of hunger thickens) i arrive at school slately later than usuall and did the usuall routine of going to the cantine amd seeing everyone(literally best part of school) lessons went as usuall where i didnt listen and teachers jsut kept talking, apart from business which is always fun due to my awsome classmate and the teachers pretty cool, got to watch the jordy man video(woop woop amy will agree). got back and went straaaaight to kendal for some stuff [ ;) andrew came with and we just chilled till pick up.acme bag and called up patrishhhh and we went for a gander. Amber is out ;'( so thats a bit of a downer but all in all its been so good so far. lots of people lost no fap march today, J abbit amoung the falled tut tut, me im still going strong lol. wow not alot today hmm more detail required, lots of people annoyed me today (not B, Justine, Charlie, Amy or James or George) but just about everyone, this was just during school afterwards it was all good once again. i wasnt mad at anyone but just generally annoyed but o well it was one of those stupid emotions. well all is good now and im just watching some random stuff on the tube. goodnight all see ya in the morow
Oh and todays person of the day is Patricia simply for being so freaking awsome. =)
the picture is of me at my best lol pretty much my usuall face around the place =)

Snakage time

Its snakage time at the Bhouse, my fav time of day. i get to eat more. mmmmmmm cereal and a penaut butter sandwhich, choice of cereak is cocopops one of my personal top favourites of the cereal family. yum yum. peace out

Todaytodaytoday

Today ok well lets see got out of bed feeling pretty ok, jumped of bed (my beds like 8 feet high btw) landed with a resounding thump, rolled and hit my head on my roommates bed.....this actually tends to be my usuall morning routine....think id learn =p. went showered by about 7:20 then got back into bed, played some DCFC and just thought bout life. MR M(head of the boarding house) came around to wake everyone up...so i stayed in bed....breakfast was boring bus ride was boring school surprisingly enough was pretty cool, only enjoy it cause i get to see my friends blah to the whol rest of the hubub that we are supposed to do. Iv pretty much succesfully not been depressed today btw which is a biggy for me lol umm so school went on as usuall. got back to the Bhouse to find out that the reward for the missing master keys has gone from 8 quid to 15 quid....muahahahahah geuss who has the keys, cha ching for me.now im in prep, prep is crap, prep is where they think ill do work...little do they know all i do is listen to music and make things like blogs lol =) hmmmm im starting a person of the day, everyday there will be a person of the day at the end of my posts(unles i do more than one a day in which case only the first of the day will have it) todays person of the day Is Bronny(B for future reference) as the name of the blog is more or less inspired by her, thnk you B (\/)<------wtf who thinks this looks like a heart lol anyway that this post done, see you all another time. Ps the rhino pretty much sums up my face today ={).

Laalooloolaloolalalalaaaa

Helooo im Dale, this blog is about me and what goes on in my everyday, things generally range from the "please kill me boring" to the "OMFG DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN" so hopefully there should be something for everyone whether you enjoy reading about the boring everyday things or rather prefer seeing people cock ups and unimaginable daily experiences......like headbutting a iron pole ya did that today, tried to snatch a bite of my friend alexs bread and obviously didnt realise that my skull and mouth where in two different places.....but hey he gave me a bite out of btw so FTW =). so ya im blabbing in my intro now so ill leave these storys for there own allocated spaces. If you know me ill see you tomorrow if you dont maybe by chance you'll walk past me one day and be like "OMG". =p