Worthless

I am a pathetic worthless human being, but i will become great.

why!

i dont get why im not over her. actually...i know exactly why im not over her. i love her and i want her back, but i know that'll never happen. its a horrible feeling knowing that what you want most in the world is something you can never ever have. Makes life seem not worth it even thought it is.

confused

im so confused lately. im less depressed but im more confused. im loving life (kinda) but im just not happy with myself. i sorely want to be someone i can be proud of but im not, no where near. i dont know what to do to stop it either. my head still flirts with the idea of just killing myself so i can stop feeling so worthless. obviously as per usuall id never do it, but i just dont want to think like that anymore. i just want to have a few days where everythings alright in my head.

Dead

I would rather be dead. the frequency of which i play with the idea of killing myself is worrying, id never do it, but id like to.

Screw it

Fuck this. its official. im not enjoying life anymore. its all fucked. life itself is out to screw with me. im fucking tired of it. sick and fucking tired. =( i am severly unhappy. and i have very little reason to be.

The night my mind exploded

''the reason all these riots are braking out are totally due to like thousands of years of pack mentality evolution deap in our genetics. The human brain is presented with a threat so it spreads its fear with its counter-parts and fellow pack members, then they pass their fears on to others. Soon enough you've got a 1000 strong army of fuel raged maniacs out to protect themselves and eliminate the threat''

''Attractivness is evolution. If you're ugly then im sorry but all the way down the line you where an ugly fucking single celled life form. you where always gonna be ugly from the beggining''

''When being in a healthy state of mind is evolution helping you to survive, then what state of mind will those who have evolved to be hunters and killers be in, be carefull of those who dont seem quite right, you've evolved to survive, they've evolved to kill, the game starts now''

''If Coca-Cola started out by containing actualy coke, then surely most other brands also contained trace elements of drugs to increase addiction....what did they all use''

True peace.

True Peace = Horlicks+Alla ta'erb+Southpark

True nirvana

Lifes great
and u know what...im still severly fucking depressed =P
im so depressed iv turned into a fucking comedian
just to try be happy sometimes
and you know what.....
it doesnt work
but.
i smoke just enough weed to not car
ive reached true nervana....

..........nirvana

Conundrum

If weed was so awful. as many foolish governments and people beleive. why would it have so many benefits. conundrum -__-

Bad

Its starting to get bad again. i can feel it getting worse. my resolve and armour are being worn down by this. its starting to feel like it did before it was good...its starting to feel worse than it did before. my posts recently, although this is purely for venting and no one actually reads any of this, are depressing and i apologise.

nothing really changed

nothings really changed. as much as i like to think iv changed i havent. its all just become more repressed. its all just kept somewhere else. its not gone away.

Hard times

Im finding it very very hard to be friends with my ex. i want to. i really really want to. but i just cant. i cant find anyway to feel that way about her. i cant just be friends..... =( i guess im going to have to get used to it. but i dont know how its gonna work. how do you be friends with someone you can only feel unconventional love for...i wish i knew the answer. but i dont =(. i guess it comes down to having her in my life and just gritting my teeth to keep it all inside or not have her in it at all. the latter i would rather not imagine...but i wonder if it would be easier.....even if it was i dont think id do it. she means to much.