I am

Right its been a loooong loong time since me last update and lots has happened since then that i can really be bothered to write about bar one thing, i am still with amber, and its ridiculous how happy that makes me but the strange thing is i'm afraid to tell her how happy it makes me..... what's up with that right.....i mean being with her is like well its just fantastically awesome im not saying that like she's my one and only cause come on im me and im 16 but right now at this very moment shes just.... the girl for me....i literally cant think of anyone i'd rather be with at this moment in time....i mean shes not perfect and saying that sounds dooshy but like if i thought she was perfect it be weird.....even when she complains like right now shes complaining about how crap england is and all i can do is smile cause im just happy to be with her and im scared that ill lose her at any moment.....fucked up thoughts man fucked up thoughts. but hey thats life right =p peace out

Urges

Urges
1-Go to Italy
2-Go to america
3-go back to italy and go to a venetian festival
4-make a massive batch of pancakes that towers over me
5-make a load of really depressing music videos
6-Take a picture of myself with a large stack of money
7-take that picture to everyone who ever doubted me and
show them it while victory dancing
8-dye my hair again
9-fuck it and shave my hair off
10-fake my own death so i can rise from the grave and pretend
to be a zombie.
Thats it for now will put more on later.....why do i blog =p no one reads any of it i mean iv got like 2 followers eh fuck it i like the venting

Friggin Life

Wow do i get myself into some situations...thats all iv really got to say on that cause i dont want to go into a detail, but iv decided that this summer is going to be my summer of Re-invention, this summer is how im going to clean my slate, everything and anything iv said this year isnt going to apply to next year....obviously within reason if iv said your my friend you'll remain my friend but like alot is not going to apply cause i really want to have a year with no previous commitments.

Im regretting the deaths of others alot lately....mainly brett...i feel cheated for not getting to actually know him for that long.

OK massive shout out to Amy Jones, cause i feel like im losing her, i havent actually talked to her in forever and its kinda heart breaking but "fuck it", amy you are the best friend iv had since iv been here and you leaving is like a knife to the gut cause i know how easily people drift apart and it makes me want to cry cause i know that the chances are we will but when we do know that i hold no grudge cause of everyone iv ever met you;ve been the only one iv felt like i could tell anything to and that i could confide in and thats how i'll always remember you. Incase we dont get to have an actuall conversation before summer good luck with everything you do and know that i love you and you;ll always be a cherished friend.

Friggin life hey =(

Sleeping

Its weird thinking people i can imagine talking to right now are asleep.

I want to be as comfortable as this panda =(

Late night Rambles

Another late night here, seems my little sleeping problems returned. sucks i love sleep, sleeps brilliant, nothing beats sleep excepts sinful green snake sleep but its still sleep....so whats my burning issue this time, well my conversations with my best friend now very rarely stretch past "hello"....which kinda sucks.....we're drifting apart.....could be for the best really....she is leaving and all so easier on both of us ha although her leaving affects me alot more than it affects her don't think she even realizes how big a shot her leaving is...it really sucks. oh yeah sudden realization of how sucky death is and how it hits the people who least deserve it, not that any one deserves it. I guess iv just never really come to grips with my cousins death...even though it was so long ago he just meant alot to me, if ever i had a father figure in life it was him....This was brought about by the fact that i found out one of my friends.....well i met her while i was visiting my cousins but i still count her as a friend even though she pobably doesnt remember me but yeah her Boyfriend died in a car accident last year and Brett also died in a car crash....its all just really crap really but yeah im just ranting about shit thats not mine to rant about sooooo whatever. Todays person of th day is Abi Ridley she gets it for being my new friend and stay up to ridonkadonk hours
Goodnight peeps, sweet dreams...ill still be awake =p

POOWEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

Well well well has it been ages or what. so much has happened in so little time.....well actually no alots happened in alot of time. lets see am out of boarding and at home now.....we know the little ordeal awhile ago with the green snake of envy....and you know what its turned out for the best, lifes been good at home, out on the weekends, better food, more freedom and green snake of envy still solidified in my life....if some what more responsably which is good......OH! iv got crewage lol i have a crew....these boys have proven to be my true friends this year even though we've only reallyspent alot of time together recently but its been great we all get along never any conflict and we all respect the green snake, regular weekend sessions its brilliant....its strange how i feel closer to them in this short time than iv ever felt to the likes of charlie and james...oh and amy ahhh amy how i love her never had such an awsome friend....she's leaving!!! wtf wtf wtf what am i going to do with my life =p what else....ah have embraced dudeism best decision of my life the morales and codes its taught me i have put to use every day so far. What else what else ahhhh exams....they are pure mission absolute pure mission had two today math and business....w...t...f actually could my day have been more of a mission with those two exams. well thats it for now
Todays person of the day is Jack Walton for being such a dedicated and loyal bro, love you man

Full circle

Today was the first time in awhile i managed to go full circle in my emotions. i started off today happy as a clam, school was great, got alot done, saw my friends and all this was brilliant. i was pretty much fine up till about 5, at this point i plummeted, i got tired and i started over thinking, i cam to full realisation of how dull life is going to be after this term, ill be living at home against my will, im being forced to leave the one place i love and that truely feels like home. this in short is not good for me, its not even that bad an event and yet it has brought me to new depths of depression. I will still be able to see my friends but my social life is as good as dead, my parents have no trust in me and its going to be really awkward. Yet on the bright side i am struck by random flashes of happiness this is good as it keeps me going, so as long as i dont think any further than the end of this week ill stay happy, but thats not possible as i have a brain that over thinks everything. i hate being like this, id much prefer to be happy all the time, but i cant cause things like this keep happening at the worst of times, i sound melodramatic but i assure you im not trying to be. till next time, goodbye