True nirvana

Lifes great
and u know what...im still severly fucking depressed =P
im so depressed iv turned into a fucking comedian
just to try be happy sometimes
and you know what.....
it doesnt work
but.
i smoke just enough weed to not car
ive reached true nervana....

..........nirvana

Conundrum

If weed was so awful. as many foolish governments and people beleive. why would it have so many benefits. conundrum -__-

Bad

Its starting to get bad again. i can feel it getting worse. my resolve and armour are being worn down by this. its starting to feel like it did before it was good...its starting to feel worse than it did before. my posts recently, although this is purely for venting and no one actually reads any of this, are depressing and i apologise.

nothing really changed

nothings really changed. as much as i like to think iv changed i havent. its all just become more repressed. its all just kept somewhere else. its not gone away.

Hard times

Im finding it very very hard to be friends with my ex. i want to. i really really want to. but i just cant. i cant find anyway to feel that way about her. i cant just be friends..... =( i guess im going to have to get used to it. but i dont know how its gonna work. how do you be friends with someone you can only feel unconventional love for...i wish i knew the answer. but i dont =(. i guess it comes down to having her in my life and just gritting my teeth to keep it all inside or not have her in it at all. the latter i would rather not imagine...but i wonder if it would be easier.....even if it was i dont think id do it. she means to much.

wrong

There is something wrong with me, i am not well, and my mind is not healthy....and its starting to scare me. =(

Life Atm

Well life at the moment. guess i have nothing to complain about really. drugs, alchohol, friends, couldnt really ask for more. although i still want naomi. and im pretty determined,cause shes very worth it, but as i said i cant raelly complain. so i guess everythings not to bad for a change =p